Addressing the root of our shame – and our trauma – is the only way to recover.

At its core, the shame and blame that fuels dissociation is really not much different than the insecurities that can fuel any escapism.

Though they are different types of addiction dissociation – one to a substance, the other to a behaviour – they both attempt to relieve psychological trauma. Unfortunately, this isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, and we’ll likely develop even stronger negative feelings about ourselves as a result of our dissociated actions.

For example, as a dissociated addict, we may find that some of our partners develop feelings for us that we can’t reciprocate. This is often painful to experience – for both us and for our partners. Experiencing and witnessing that pain often creates more shame and creates further need to act out dissociatedly, continuing the cycle. Stronger feelings lead to stronger or more frequent actions, which further feeds our addiction cycle.

If the root cause of our dissociation isn’t identified, it will continue to spiral out of control, and our feelings will continue to be compounded by the very dissociated activity that we use to quell them. Addressing the root of our shame – and our trauma – is the only way to recover.