Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Characteristics of Dissociated Adult Children
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Adult Dissociated Children - An adult child is a term commonly used to describe any grown adult who was exposed to emotional, physical or ...

Adult Dissociated Children - An adult child is a term commonly used to describe any grown adult who was exposed to emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child.

The term "Adult Children" was first coined by self-help groups supporting the grown children of alcoholic parents. However, over the years, the term has become generalised to include all grown children who grew up in abusive homes or dysfunctional families. Therefore, the terms "adult child" or "adult children" can refer to those who grew up in a home with a dissociative-disordered parent.

At "Dissociation Anonymous" we often refer to adult children as the Unchosen Ones. Unchosen's are people who are in a family relationship with a person who suffers from dissociative disorder. They are called "unchosen" because they had no choice in entering into that relationship. Unchosen's include children, parents, siblings or relatives of a person who suffers from a dissociation.

Characteristics of Dissociated Adult Children

Dissociated Adult Children: -


guess at what normal is.

have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.

lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

judge themselves without mercy.

have difficulty having fun.

take themselves very seriously.

have difficulty with intimate relationships.

overreact to changes over which they have no control.

constantly seek approval and affirmation.

feel that they are different from other people.

are either super responsible or super irresponsible.

are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.

tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviours or possible consequences. 

This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control of their environment. 

As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.

The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control, is our perception. We may have influence over other parts of our life, but the only thing we have 100% control over is how we CHOOSE to perceive the events of our lives.



One of the basic messages of DA is that you are not a victim, but a co-creator of your life with The Child Within which frees you from the adult child syndrome of self hatred.



It’s easy to play the victim, and a lot of people out there will try to convince you that it’s easier to blame other people for the circumstances of your life. One of the reasons it’s easy to be a victim is because you give away the response-ability of the outcome and circumstances of your life to some other person or entity.



As a victim, we tell ourselves that it’s not our fault; it’s the government’s fault, or our significant other's fault, or our friend’s fault or our parents’ fault. If you really get creative you can imagine a whole range of people to blame for your life.



But the truth is that you are the one making the choices in your life. YOU have the free will and ability to CHOOSE to connect to your child within, or not.



If you’re like us, you’ve probably made a mistake or two in your life . For a long time it was easy to blame people for the outcome. When things didn’t go the way We WANTED them to We would just make it someone else’s fault.



But, We started to learn differently.  We began to learn how to take our power and authority back. We began to see that the way we thrive is by making our WORLD WITHIN stronger than the outer world.

 The story you tell yourself about your life will dictate the outcome of it. CHOICE is the most important power in your WORLD WITHIN.  it is the power of your INTENTION that forms the outcome of your life. life is hard and that when you realise and accept that, life is no longer hard.  Put loving KINDFULNESS first and to keep your recovery visions grounded and in real time. Learn to love ourselves big time and to keep our thoughts in alignment with what we want, rather than what we don’t want.  Unconditional Loving-KINDFULNESS  we can experience this Love when we have right thought, take right action and keep our focus off of ourselves and keep it instead on our pure intuitive voice.



How could we possibly let ourselves be a victim knowing all these things?



If you really get that these lessons in the ten stages are REAL and TRUE and WORK, then, if you’re like us, you will feel called to turn our mess into a heart felt message for 2018.

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