Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Dissocification can manifest as a series of relationships in which we are controlled or manipulated
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Dissocification can manifest as a series of relationships in which we are controlled or manipulated by a carer, lover or family member who...
Dissocification can manifest as a series of relationships in which we are controlled or manipulated by a carer, lover or family member who is affected by dissociations that have formed into mental illness.
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may have become dissociated from life.
Dissocification is the tendency for us trapped in abusive relationships to develop dysfunctional patterns or habits in the process of trying to cope with a family member or partner who is abusive or neglectful or is emotionally dissociated. These patterns include denial of the problem, enabling or support of the abusive behaviour, poor sense of self-worth, abandonment of personal goals or values and development of controlling or manipulative behaviours.The Dissociated are generally unsatisfied with the status quo, yet often fear the consequences of trying to make a change, of trying to detach or put a stop to the abuse

Characteristics

of Dissocification
Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the wellbeing of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

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