Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: In becoming a Dissociationalist ( a person addicted to dissociated behaviour patterns) we need to create a dissociational supply in order to preserve a fragile ego with little to no self worth
Author: Fraser Trevor
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In becoming a Dissociationalist ( a person addicted to dissociated behaviour patterns) we need to create a dissociational supply in orde...
In becoming a Dissociationalist ( a person addicted to dissociated behaviour patterns) we need to create a dissociational supply in order to preserve a fragile ego with little to no self worth, and this can be provided by two distinct sources:-

Dissociational Supply provides all of the attention that we a dissociated addict craves. The nature of the attention can be experienced in either a public form (such as fame, celebrity, notoriety, or infamy etc.), or in a private form (such as admiration, flattery, acclaim, fear, repulsion etc.).
Dissociational Supply alludes to those people or things that provide supply on a regular basis (such as a spouse, children, friends, colleagues, partners, clients, etc.). This latter form of supply allows the dissociationalist to lead a more normal existence, it provides them with pride, financial safety, social distinction and the alliance that they need.

However, dissociational supply is not confined to people only, it can be applied to any inanimate object that has the ability to attract attention and admiration
, (for example, a flash car, property, clothes, being a member of a church, cult, club, or a business). In short, anything that acts as status symbols is “dissociational supply”.


Obsessive multi-addictions of the dissociated. Obsessed by the illusion of a False Self, and an inflated sense of their own superiority, power, and control, they renders themselves susceptible to all sorts of obsessions, compulsions, and addictions; such as, addiction to dissociational Supply; to Grandiosity; to Control, to Power; to Rage; to Perfectionism; to Attention; to Fame etc. Without a comprehensive knowledge of dissociationalism, we have no way of understanding the devastating effects of the abuse on the victim they are treating, effects that are so crippling that they can result in a 
Victim Syndrome.

Our intention is not to “bad mouth” those who are suffering from Dissociation Personality Disorder, on the contrary, we believe that they are also victims of abuse somewhere in their past, and they too suffer greatly on a daily basis. What we hope is that Dissociation Anonymous will allow for more compassion towards both the dissociated and the victim.


What is Dissociation Victim Syndrome?

First, what is the definition of the word “Victim”? – “A victim is a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action”. So I think we can safely say (using this definition), that any person who has experienced dissociational abuse has been harmed, injured, and in some cases, even killed as result of the behaviour, then they are indeed victims.


We feel so torn because we don’t understand what has happened to us. Before we can begin to put ourselves back together, we believe that it is vital that we must, through the process of dissociation anonymous work in progress, educate the individual in the area of Dissociational Personality Disorder (the What, the When, the How, and the Why of the abuse etc) so that we can begin to make sense of what was really happening as our story unfolds. Without such information it is virtually impossible to build up our self-esteem to healthy levels, thus leaving them vulnerable to further re-victimisation, and future entrapment with others
.


Once a person has become a victim of a dissociationalist (whether it happened in childhood or later on in life), the victims are already unconsciously primed to enter the  “convoluted dance” that opens them up to further abuse. It is necessary for us to gently shine a light on what we are doing in the dance that makes us a victim. Once again, a “Dissy Victim” is any person who is harmed, injured or killed by a person who displays dissociational tendencies (which can occur on a spectrum of severity).

The victim needs to understand that this “dance” of codependency requires two people: the pleaser/fixer (victim), and the taker/controller (dissociated/addict), together both partners dance beautifully in perfect step, and the madness begins. The consequences for the victim not understanding the intricacy of the dance, is that, no matter how often they try to avoid “unhealthy” partners, they will find themselves habitually returning to the same dance floor; the only thing that will change is that they will find themselves dancing to a different tune, but always the personality of the dance partner remains the same.

We need to be seriously aware that dissociation is a very complex disorder that creates a lot of suffering, both to the person who has the disorder, and to those people who have to live with the disordered behaviour on a daily basis. When we speak of abuse, (abuse that can lead to a Victim Syndrome), we are speaking about a form of abuse that is very insidious. What we mean by insidious is that the abuse is covert, cunning and often indirect. This form of abuse is often carried out in a subtly and clandestine manner, because they go to great pains to avoid being observed publicly as being abusive. This Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde behaviour of the dissociationist (loving one minute and totally enraged the next) can inflict great harm on the victim. Understandably, the fear, distress, confusion, inner turmoil, and chaos that they experience leaves them “walking on eggshells” in order to avoid further conflict. The effect on the victim over time can be very crippling indeed. We liken dissociation to a parasitic worm that manages to penetrate under the skin, where it is out of the sight of witnessing eyes, but is free to injure or consume its host slowly, leaving trauma or disease in its wake. By the way, the dissociation can manage to live on inside of  the victim even after they manage to escape; it is as if their “seed” goes on.



However, when we speak of Victim Abuse, we are speaking of an abuse that has been caused by someone with a personality disorder, and more often than not, their personality disorder has not been medically diagnosed, therefore the individual goes undetected in society (i.e. in the home, the work-place, in organisations, in social settings etc.). It is vital to understand that the personality disorder is a serious mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, and a deep need for attention and admiration.  Believing that they are superior to others, and have little regard for other people’s feelings, regardless of whom they are (i.e. spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, peers etc.). Other people are merely object there to serve their every need as a supply, and they will use every form of abuse, without guilt, empathy or conscience, in order to make sure that their needs are served.

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