Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Within each of us, there is a very young, perfect child.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Within each of us, there is a very young, perfect child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced t...
Within each of us, there is a very young, perfect child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma and dis-respect. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times, We dissociate. Every time we’re in touch with the experience of suffering, we believe we can’t bear it, and we stuff our feelings and memories deep down into our unconscious mind. It may be that we haven’t dared to face our child for many decades.

But just because we may have ignored the child doesn’t mean she or he isn’t there. This perfect child is always there, trying to get our attention. The child says, “I’m here. I’m here. You can’t avoid me. You can’t run away from me.” We want to end our suffering by sending the child to a deep place inside, and staying as far away as possible. But running away doesn’t end our suffering; it only prolongs it.

The perfect child asks for communication and love, but we do the opposite. We run away because we’re afraid of contact. The block of pain and sorrow in us feels overwhelming. Even if we have time, we don’t come home to ourselves. We try to keep ourselves constantly entertained—watching television or movies, socialising, or using alcohol or drugs—because we don’t want to experience that suffering all over again.

The child within is there and we don’t even know it is there. The child within us is a reality, but we can’t see it. That inability to see is a kind of ignorance. This child has been and is being disrespected. Our child really needs us to return. Instead we turn away.

Dissociation is in each cell of our body and our consciousness. It’s like a drop of ink diffused in a glass of water. That ignorance stops us from seeing reality; it pushes us to do foolish things that make us suffer even more.

The perfect child is also in each cell of our body. There is no cell of our body that does not have that our child in it. We don’t have to look far into the past for that child. We only have to look deeply and we can be in touch. Our suffering of that our dissociation is lying inside us right now in the present moment.

But just as dissociation
 is present in every cell of our body, so are the seeds of awakened understanding and happiness. We have a lamp inside us, the lamp of Kindfulness, which we can light anytime. The oil of that lamp is our breathing, our steps, and our peaceful smile. We have to light up that lamp of Kindfulness so the light will shine out and the darkness will dissipate and cease. Our practice is to light up the lamp.

When we feel compassion for our child within and we begin to generate the energy of Kindfulness. The practices of Kindful walking, Kindful sitting, and Kindful breathing are our foundation for recovery. With our Kindful breath and Kindful steps, we can produce the energy of Kindfulness and return to the awakened wisdom of the child within lying in each cell of our body. That energy will embrace us and heal us, and will heal the wounded adult shadow self in us.

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