Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Remember that an episode of stigmatisation isn’t about you.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Remember that an episode of stigmatisation isn’t about you. It’s really all about the way the other person feels. Pay attention to the fe...
Remember that an episode of stigmatisation isn’t about you. It’s really all about the way the other person feels.
Pay attention to the feelings rather than the facts being expressed. While the facts may be way-off, the underlying feelings between the lines are often real and even honest - “I feel scared”, “I feel worthless”, “I feel weak” etc.
If you feel comfortable, you can model “I” statements in your responses - “I feel scared when you say that”.
Remember that what the person is feeling is temporary and they will probably feel different in a few days or a few hours.
If necessary, you can verbally validate the name-caller’s feelings while rejecting the label and try to redirect the person with the Personality Disorder to the real issue - so long as you are able to stay in the conversation without feeling threatened or getting hurt, and so long as you aren’t exposing others - such as children - to the abuse.
Politely, briefly and calmly refuse to accept the label and state the truth ONE TIME ONLY.
End the conversation by taking a time-out even if the other person doesn’t want to.

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